Meds & Moods

On Monday this week my final dose increase of Keppra (Levetiracetam) went up for the last time to it’s maximum for me: 1,500mg a day split in 2 doses of 750mg morning & night.

Now since my severe allergic reaction to Lamotrigine (I’m never allowed this med ever again) I had to increase the Keppra very gradually at 1/2 the standard starting dose, so it has been building up to this final strength in small stages since January.

Side Effects haven’t been so bad, the main ones that affect me are: dry mouth/dry lips (keep the chapstick & lipgloss handy), tiredness (this hits me to extremes on an increase), blurred vision (this also happens on an increase) & the increase in depression.

Now on the whole my depression has turned a complete circle since 2009 – I didn’t have a particularly good winter that year, but I kept it well hidden. I have come such a long way since then & overcome some real extremities, it hasn’t always been easy but I’m still here to tell the tale.

However, I’m not 100% sure if the Keppra is making my moods worse or if it’s an age related thing or if I’m just at the end of my patience with certain things…

… Could it be the meds? Could it be a change in hormones as I get nearer to 40? Or could it just be things niggle & aggravate me more than they used to? Who knows???

I do know that sometimes I feel particularly more sad than I would over certain things now I’m on these anti-epilepsy meds, but then again I’ve always been a particularly over-sensitive girlie girl… I try not to be but I am.

It’s not just the meds affecting my moods at present, life is dragging me down. I am thankful for my home, my family, their health but I’m increasingly chomping at the bit for some fun.

Yes, I go to karaoke & a few hours a week singing amongst friends relieves the monotonous boredom for a brief moment… But I want to go out as a family, as a couple, with friends but it is not so easy at present.

Lack of money, a broken car, no car to fit the 5 of us in, there’s obstacles everywhere & it is frustrating as hell.

The weather this year so far has not been anything worth writing home about, there’s no family holiday to be had this year & I doubt there’ll be a night away as a couple either.

I don’t want to be negative as it drags you under, alas there’s nothing to look forward to for me this year. There’s a couple of weddings that I’m overjoyed for my friends to find happiness & start a married life together… But I want a break for us now.

The most exciting thing I’ve got to look forward to is creating some special wedding & birthday cakes for some lovely people in my life.

Growing up is hard, having a hidden illness is hard & I need a complete turn around again to come out of this slump.

Meds can help, it’s true my epilepsy is controlled quite well now but there are pitfalls of these nasty drugs. So it’s on that note I’m going to kick my own butt & cheer up!

Baking cupcakes tomorrow for my hubs office, so that will help… May make some for home too!!!

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2 responses to “Meds & Moods

    • Alas Sallyann they didn’t… Not such a good day at all today, so much so an hr or two sleep at dinner time & now insomnia! Just blogged another out x

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