I need to blog, I need to get this off my chest… Anxiety! Urgh 😕
I despise this condition, it rears it’s ugly head from nowhere & really gets my goat!
Why can’t I control it better, why do I not recognise the signs always & let it take control?
I dislike it so much, it causes me so many problems. I get concerned over the stupidest little things & over think situations, worry about nonsense, make myself worked up & end up upsetting others in the process… Why oh why?
I sometimes only realise I’m anxious after it is too late, when I’ve had some quiet time to myself & have been left alone. This too is frustrating but then extremely upsetting for me, I could literally burst into tears for no reason as I’m not too sure why I’m so anxious right now 😢
I find myself at extremely bad times pushing away those closest to me, this isn’t a good thing & I don’t know how to change it. Blogging may not be the correct thing to do, but right now it is helping to distract me from feeling bad about myself for doing the wrong thing with my anxieties that are unbeknown to me.
I’m beating myself up inside for getting so frustrated over the smallest of issues & being out of persona, I really don’t like feeling like this & I wish I knew how to handle the situation much easier.
I don’t think this happens very often, but maybe I’m wrong? Perhaps I’m going totally insane & there’s something wrong with me or am I just being totally paranoid now? I do not know, but I feel a little better for blogging this even though it may not make complete sense to anybody else except me.
Apologies in advance for rambling on & on about some of the issues inside my head, but this is sort of like a diary for me at times & is a great outlet. It may not get me many friends, it may make people wonder who I am, but for those that also suffer from anxieties maybe they can relate to this a little?